Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
