Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
