Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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