ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize
