Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
