i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Found the puke drawer
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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