He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
operation have a gay friend backfired
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I know her cup size but not her name....
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