i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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