Got a toothbrush?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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