I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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