I want to make a zoo with you.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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