I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
