Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
