I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
