She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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