shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
