Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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