At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
