I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
