Screwed.edu
I am midnight drunk by noon
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
