I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
