just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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