At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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