Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
