I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
