Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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