Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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