you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
