Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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