I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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