It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
