thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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