I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
