So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
