you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
