Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
