you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
