I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
