Will you blow on my dice?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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