A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We have so much sex to catch up on
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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