For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
