We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
