Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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