There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
