he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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