i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
