Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
