I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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