What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
