Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
