my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
